Love, Jimmie

So, this is my introduction to the world at large . . . . I never quite pictured it this way.

I’m a friendly person overall and let it never be said that I’m shy. I don’t suppose I’ve ever met a stranger. But I’m strangely nervous about this. I’m putting myself out there in all my glory and improper grammar. What if it’s a bust? What if I’m really lame and no one told me? And what if I put all of this effort forth and then (gasp!) get bored with my own thoughts?

Luckily, today I am not bored with my own self and am feeling adventurous. I’m courageous. And you can call me Jimmie. There is a story behind that name which will be told another day. But for now, I’m just Jimmie. Nice to meetcha!

A bit about me first . . . I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch lately. Everyone goes through it. Everyone gets their heart trampled on at least once in their life, right? Everyone loses a job, a family member, a home, something at some point. What kind of childish humans would we be if we floated through this life unscathed and whole? Pretty weak, I would bet. And boring. Life would hurt less, sure, but a life filled with unicorns farting rainbows breathing big puffy pink clouds would surely lead to some sort of breakdown. You can only have too much cheesecake before a heart attack brings you to your knees. We’ve got to grow, to learn, to gain wisdom, to fight.

Mostly because of this rough patch, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to my life and feel slightly disgruntled by it. I spend a lot of time being ordinary, even boring. Certainly nothing special.

Work is, well, work. I’m not challenged there but I’m not sure I want to be. I’m smart, yes, but also lazy. I have a fantastic job that lots of people would be thrilled to have. I realize that I’m one of the lucky ones and I have zero complaints about that. Sorry to anyone who was looking for that sort of complaining forum. You won’t find it here.

I have a home.  My house is nothing special right now and I don’t fully appreciate it. I allow it to be messy and haphazard. I take it for granted. I don’t even mow my own lawn. That’s what side businesses are for, right?  But again, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a home that keeps me warm and dry and houses all of my super cool stuff.

I have two cats, Murphy and Seamus. I thought about giving them fake names but they don’t even answer to the names they currently have.  I’m thankful that Murphy still sleeps with me at night and that Seamus will wend his way around my legs of a morning, but really, they piss me off more than they comfort me what with their meowing and clawing at my furniture. It’s irritating. Plus I have to clean a litter box which I am sure will make my house smell like cat urine at some point. I don’t want that. I also don’t want to be covered in orange fur on a daily basis like I currently am. I’ve roller-brushed my coat so much that the nap is starting to get threadbare, yet I still have little orange and white hairs sticking out of it. Like horns. It’s embarrassing.

I’m overweight. Sigh.  I want to eat crap all the time. I haven’t been exercising lately and apparently will use any excuse to get out of it. My stomach is starting to pook out again and I’m afraid all of my hard work of late will go down the toilet.

I’m surface nice but deep down, I’m not sure I’m all that nice. I’m not mean. I just don’t want to fully commit to being that person that goes the distance for you.

In short, I am just ordinary. I don’t want to be just ordinary. If you know me long enough, you will learn that you don’t have to tell me how you feel about me. I’ll tell you how you feel about me. “I’m your favorite.” I say it often. It is bold and sassy and I want it to be true. I want to go the distance for you, my family, my friends. I want to live the life of happiness and contentment and excitement and comfort and challenge and philanthropy and goodness and love and all of it.

So I propose this. I’m beginning a journey. I’d like for my life to be special. I’d like to have an extraordinary life. Yes, that’s it. Extraordinary. I want things to be exquisite. I want them to mean something and get me somewhere and I want to wring every bit of goodness I can out of this life. All the love and all the funny and all the poignant moments and all the memories, all the good stuff. I want love. I want passion. I want friendship. I want joy.

Sometimes the bad comes, yes. It, too, can be something special. I want to experience it all. I want to look forward to all of it, as much as I can, because it all will happen. I want to not let life pass me by or take for granted all of the beauty and goodness here. I want to have a life that is full, positive or negative, good or bad.

I am Jimmie. I want extraordinary. And this is my journey.