This Is How Woney And I Get Into Trouble

Good-bye savings.  I didn’t need you anyway.


Good-bye waistline.  You will be missed.


Good-bye sensibilities.  Hello, stranger.  You are so cute!


Good-bye filter.  That was an awesome make out session, stranger.  Of course you can have my number.  No, of course I don’t mind that you don’t have all of your teeth and are brave enough to show those gaps to the world!  Right on!  Be yourself! 


Good-bye camera.  Woney didn’t need those 45 pictures she took on this trip.  Her mind is like a steel trap.  She can remember every single event with no photographic evidence whatsoever.

Disclaimers and Items of Note: 

Using new sparkly eyeliner on your eyelids and accidentally getting some on your eyelashes can be distracting and quite mesmerizing, especially when driving.  Operate vehicle carefully. 

Giving Woney a video option on her phone while Jimmie gets a pedicure can be damaging to Jimmie’s reputation.  Also, there is no evidence to be found on youtube!  Do not search!  Computers will be infected with the most horrifying viruses if those searches are attempted! 

The dropping of the camera into a fountain (which looked as if it happened in slow motion, it was so horrifying) had nothing to do with any alcohol consumption. Still, DO NOT RECOMMEND operating camera after tasty beverage consumption.

Reputations were scarred a bit when tourists from all over the world witnessed the falling of the camera from Woney’s hands.  Muffled snickering ensued. 

No fishes were harmed in the retrieval of the camera or the batteries (which somehow never made it into the water) although a bug or two might have been squished. 

It pays to be kind to the nice boys in the Engineering Department at the Opryland Hotel as you not only get your personal water-logged equipment back from the depths of the fountain but also the sunglasses dropped by an unknown stranger probably months beforehand.  Score! 

No fabulously tall men with gorgeous big arms were molested over the course of the weekend (sadly). 

No dentally challenged men with exquisitely short stature were molested either (thankfully). 


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. amy
    Jun 26, 2011 @ 16:44:30

    jimmy, reading your blog is going to send me into labor…thank you for the giggles!!!


  2. Felix
    Jul 01, 2011 @ 14:27:46

    I liked your boss’ response to the pink sparkly champagne…..Too funny!!!!


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