Love, Jimmie

You guys know I have two cats.  You know that Murphy is Mr. Personality.  You also know that Seamus barely tolerates me.  For whatever reason, they both love me without condition when I have to pee in the middle of the night.  They follow me into the bathroom and wend their way around my legs, telling me how pretty I am and genuinely being affectionate.  But unless I’m having a call of nature at 3:00 am or unless I’m feeding Seamus, he pretty much wants nothing to do with me.

I’ve tried everything to win his love.  I’ve purchased ridiculous cat toys for him.  I bought grooming items and offered to use them on him whenever the urge hits.  I’ve put new blankets on my bed to try to entice him to snuggle with me.  I spend a lot of money on kitty treats which do work at the precise moment that I come home every day.  Seamus greets me at the door, makes sure I’m looking at him and then makes a beeline for the food bowl.  Once he makes it there (after sometimes braining himself on the couch in his excitement and inattention), he purrs and is generally very charming to me.  After the treats have been consumed, about 5 ½ seconds, he reverts back to indifference and hiding under the bed.

The other night I made dinner for myself.  It was standard fare, nothing very exotic.  As I was eating, I noticed that Seamus was paying special attention to me.  I had already given him treats and tried to love on him so I knew that this was unusual.  He kept purring and sniffing around, wrapping himself around my legs and acting a lot like Murphy.  I found it odd yet I was thrilled.  I knew there was something behind it; I have no idea what made me try this, but I put some of my peas on the floor.  You would have thought that his Dwayne Johnson equivalent had walked in the door and proposed marriage.  He was so excited! 

So I got out a plate and filled it up and gave it to him.  I’ve never felt so much love from that cat.  After all of the money and cat therapy and time I’ve spent with him, I am shocked to know that all along, it would have only taken an 88 cent can of peas.  Weirdo.  I’ll take it.