Am I Middle Aged? Surely Not . . . . .

How I Can Tell I’m Getting Old(er)

  1. I lecture people on the benefits of sunscreen and use it liberally myself
  2. I find men who are financially stable very attractive
  3. You could not pay me to eat at Taco Bell, Krystal’s or White Castle now – ugh!
  4. I don’t really get the whole Justin Beiber phenomenon
  5. The moment the sun peeks it’s pretty little head around the horizon, I am instantly and unarguably awake
  6. Sometimes I buy shoes for comfort and not cuteness
  7. When I do the elasticity pinch test on the back of my hand, I’m not all gloat-y anymore
  8. I have an incredible amount of affection for my own bed
  9. Going out on the town during the work week rarely holds any appeal for me
  10. I’m willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money on lotions, serums and creams for my face
  11. When last shopping for a car, I took consumer reviews into consideration rather than deciding on the purchase because the car was pretty
  12. I am hyper aware of my knees now
  13. I find that I really do care how much fiber is in my diet
  14. I have seriously considered using Preparation H on the bags under my eyes
  15. I realize daily that gravity is not my friend

 

How I Can Tell I’m Still Young(ish)

  1. I yearn for a kick-ass tan
  2. I have pictures of hot boys with giant arms on my desktop
  3. I will pay you to let me eat at Chipotle nearly every day
  4. I will cut you if you disrespect George Michael, gay or not
  5. Even though I immediately awaken when the sun rises, I still lounge around in my bed, making love to my pillows as long as time allows
  6. It is important to me that I have cute running shoes that match my clothes
  7. I still wear pigtails and have freckles on my nose
  8. My desire to travel trumps my affection for my bed almost every time
  9. I don’t care the day or time, I would spend half my paycheck on tickets to see Adele
  10. I’m willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money on mascara that makes my eyelashes look like caterpillars
  11. When last shopping for a car, I made the salesperson get into the backseat with me so I could gauge how much make out room there was back there
  12. I find that no amount of money is too much for a good push-up bra
  13. My wanting to lose weight has a little to do with my health but overwhelmingly to do with how I look in my bathing suit
  14. The thought of purchasing Preparation H for any reason at all mortifies me beyond all belief and I have never quite brought myself to do it
  15. I am in awe of all of the things still left for me to learn and discover in this lifetime

What does it say about me that it took me all of ten minutes to make the Old list and three days to make the Young list?

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Colline
    Sep 25, 2011 @ 15:11:35

    I think it means you should focus on how young you are – and not on how old you are. As they say, you are as young as you think 🙂

    Reply

  2. notquiteold
    Sep 25, 2011 @ 17:43:44

    Great post.

    Reply

  3. Martie
    Sep 25, 2011 @ 21:19:28

    I fear that the pillow thing might give some folks the wrong idea….or maybe it’s the right idea but in the wrong heads…..only I would think in this direction.
    I must still be young because I still have no trouble sleeping until 9 or 9:30 on the weekends, I can’t afford to buy a car, and going out on the town during the week sounds pretty dang good to me! Ha! It’s amazing what 20 months age difference will do, huh? hee hee!

    Reply

  4. JB Maddawg
    Sep 26, 2011 @ 00:16:52

    It all depends, do the pillows at least call? Maybe this is that whole “pillow thing wrong idea” at play.

    Reply

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