Love, Jimmie

How I Can Tell I’m Getting Old(er)

1. I lecture people on the benefits of sunscreen and use it liberally myself
2. I find men who are financially stable very attractive
3. You could not pay me to eat at Taco Bell, Krystal’s or White Castle now – ugh!
4. I don’t really get the whole Justin Beiber phenomenon
5. The moment the sun peeks it’s pretty little head around the horizon, I am instantly and unarguably awake
6. Sometimes I buy shoes for comfort and not cuteness
7. When I do the elasticity pinch test on the back of my hand, I’m not all gloat-y anymore
8. I have an incredible amount of affection for my own bed
9. Going out on the town during the work week rarely holds any appeal for me
10. I’m willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money on lotions, serums and creams for my face
11. When last shopping for a car, I took consumer reviews into consideration rather than deciding on the purchase because the car was pretty
12. I am hyper aware of my knees now
13. I find that I really do care how much fiber is in my diet
14. I have seriously considered using Preparation H on the bags under my eyes
15. I realize daily that gravity is not my friend

How I Can Tell I’m Still Young(ish)

1. I yearn for a kick-ass tan
2. I have pictures of hot boys with giant arms on my desktop
3. I will pay you to let me eat at Chipotle nearly every day
4. I will cut you if you disrespect George Michael, gay or not
5. Even though I immediately awaken when the sun rises, I still lounge around in my bed, making love to my pillows as long as time allows
6. It is important to me that I have cute running shoes that match my clothes
7. I still wear pigtails and have freckles on my nose
8. My desire to travel trumps my affection for my bed almost every time
9. I don’t care the day or time, I would spend half my paycheck on tickets to see Adele
10. I’m willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money on mascara that makes my eyelashes look like caterpillars
11. When last shopping for a car, I made the salesperson get into the backseat with me so I could gauge how much make out room there was back there
12. I find that no amount of money is too much for a good push-up bra
13. My wanting to lose weight has a little to do with my health but overwhelmingly to do with how I look in my bathing suit
14. The thought of purchasing Preparation H for any reason at all mortifies me beyond all belief and I have never quite brought myself to do it
15. I am in awe of all of the things still left for me to learn and discover in this lifetime

What does it say about me that it took me all of ten minutes to make the Old list and three days to make the Young list?