Love, Jimmie

I got a catalog in the mail yesterday from Heifer International.  I’m going to let you marinate on that for a minute before commenting further. 

. . . . . . . . elevator muzak . . . . . . . . . .

I choose to believe that someone sent that catalog to me because they admire all the good deeds I do and wanted to help me further my philanthropic spirit rather than believe that someone sent it to me as a subtle hint. 

Actually, its pretty cool. You should check it out:  Heifer International.  Family, do not be surprised if you get a “share of a goat” for Christmas.

Madre was here last weekend to walk a 5K with me.  It was the Oktoberfest Bier Run in which loads of people turned out to trot around Germantown for the privilege of drinking free beer at 9:00 a.m.  I don’t get it.  Neither did Madre.  We were pretty stoked about the t-shirt and the free bagels, though, so we took off on the three mile jaunt.  Madre’s been hitting the walking pretty hard lately and she looks marvelous but walking with Madre is a bit of a challenge. 

See, Madre is 6’2”, and I’d guess about 6’1” of her are legs.  She has a long stride which makes it difficult to keep up with her.  While I’m pretty tall in my own right, I find myself doing this half jogging/walking/deep step thing to keep her pace which really tugs at my hamstrings.  It is an excellent workout but I could really use some of that stretching afterwards, you know, and some oxygen.  Yesterday, Madre walked/slightly jogged her second ever 5K and won first place for her age division!  I’m super proud of her but you know all those other participants were like, “Who is Leggy McStriderson up there?  She stole my trophy!  Heifer.”   Congrats, Mom!  Well done!

Now that I have you guys all sentimental about my family and my philanthropic good deeds, I need to ask a favor of you.  See, there is an event that I’ve been planning to do all year and this event will take place during the entire month of November.  That means I will have very little time to visit with you here and entertain you with my big sexy hair and my mad skills as a handyperson.

Have you heard of NaNoWriMo?  It’s a one month writing frenzy in which you challenge yourself to write 50,000 words.  They don’t have to make sense or fit perfectly although it would be nice if they did.   They just have to be done.  And I’m going to do it.  Did you know that 50,000 words is approximately the length of a third of a novel?  Some of you know this already, but I write a lot here to practice for other writing things that I really want to do, like a novel for example.  (This is the point where all of you rush to comment section to offer support and promise to purchase anything of mine that ever gets published.)  I’ve started four novels/books so I very much want to see if I have it in me to do this, to actually finish one.

The thing is, I don’t want my blog to be silent for a whole month.  I want there to be some activity here.  I’m asking you, my faithful readers, to blog for me.  Can I get some of you to guest post?  I have a list of items I am willing to trade for your prose. 

In return for your post, I am willing to offer any or all of the following:  my share of Channing Tatum (his neck is too wide for me); my share of Ryan Gosling (his neck is too long for my tastes); my share of any and all sushi (ugh, gross); my share of all onions (we have covered this); my share of Adam Levine (he looks a bit like a weasel); an eyelash flutter (I have some great new mascara); and/or finally, a full grown cat named Murphy.   I will also generously throw in some Big Sexy Hair volumizer to sweeten the deal.

For the record, I already have a guest post from Boss and a promise of one from Prom Date Will.  That leaves 28 open spots for the rest of you.  So, Freddie, Lorne (Ty), Martie, The Squirt, Woney, Studio Bukowski – any of  you up for the challenge?  Anyone else?  I hear Channing Tatum has some pretty sweet abs. 

Then, because I know how much you guys will miss me, in the month of December I’m going to go for NaBloPoMo.  It was supposed to be the challenge in November for bloggers but since I like to march to the beat of my own drum, I felt like it could be your reward for letting me have a month off. 

I look forward to the influx of comments/volunteers.  Holding my breath actually.  Don’t make me pass out.