Love, Jimmie

I have news. If I were that kind of girl, I’d have announced it on Facebook by changing my status from “single” to “in a relationship” and then added a bunch of hearts and exclamation points and smiley faces.  I’m not that kind of girl but can I get a “Hell, Yeah!” anyway?

This has been a long time coming.  I missed a lot of signs, it seems, because I don’t understand it when someone likes me just for me.  Everyone else saw it and told me all about it but again, I’m a little slow on the uptake.  Apparently he is too, because we’ve walked around for the last five months claiming we are “just friends”, even as we snuggled up on my floor in front of the Christmas tree lights.  You couldn’t get paper between us, we were so close, yet we called it “fellowshipping” and “listening to Christmas music”.  (Lest you leer at me with an <eyebrow waggle> over the “snuggling”, “fellowshipping” or “listening to Christmas music”, please remember that my Daddy-O reads this blog.  Pervs.)

In the time it took us to get from “you are a nice person” to “making out with you sounds like a great idea” we spent a lot of time hanging out and getting to know each other – always ideal.  I should have known something was up, though, because every time we left each other, I felt lost and confused yet hopeful.  And when we did finally talk about whatever this was becoming over the last month or so, I left every conversation with an answer that was clear as mud.  This was not an easy road.

However, the bridge has been crossed, the path determined, the fork . . . . what exactly do you call it when you decide which way to go at the fork?  I’d like to now tell you about him and how he wooed me.  Truth is, you already know him. I’ve written about him. Why don’t I run down the list and let you see if you can guess.

1. He is taller than me. (Yay!)
2. He does not have a stupid name.  (I prolly won’t tell it, either way.)
3. He does not live with his mother.  (Have mercy, what a relief.)
4. His heart beats for God. (Hallelujah!)
5. NASCAR has never been on his list of fun things to support.  (<heavy, relieved sigh>)
6. He has lovely hands and teeth.  (I’m a sucker for lovely hands and teeth.)
7. More than once I’ve found him washing dishes in my kitchen, towel draped over his shoulder and suds up to his elbows.  (As an aside here, men, I’d like to give a word of advice.  Women almost never, ever find it sexy when you send naked junk pictures to our phones, nor when you describe in detail what you would like to do with that junk.  We do, however, find it incredibly sexy to find you sweeping the floor without being bribed or asked.  A man with a broom in his hand? MEOW!)
8. He told me that he likes my big hair, that he likes my talking and that he likes it when I’m sort of loud and bossy. (I don’t get it either . . . )
9. He bought me flowers and a candle and stuffed donkey.  (A donkey!)
10. He’s as nice to me as Pee-tah is.  (For those of you wondering if Pee-tah was the one, if he made the switch, please know that as awesome as I am and fabulous as we are together, he is and will always remain Not Interested In Women.)

An extra bonus:  Madre and Martie like him. As do Pooh and Tigger.  (Crucial bit of acceptance.)

Any guesses?  First one to get it right gets a prize.  Wait, first one who didn’t already know the answer gets a prize.  Martie is going to help me pick it out because she’s good at that sort of thing and I’ll either mail it to you (if you are a stranger) or deliver it to you over lunch (if you aren’t).  And then we will gush over this new relationship of mine that I’ve waited eons for and I’ll tell you all my stories.  Then we can gush over whatever stories you want to tell me in return.

Also, in conclusion:  Hell, Yeah!