I Can’t Think Of A Clever Title

You guys remember Dammit Todd, right?  Unfortunately I have not had the opportunity to bake him any cookies, nor has he eaten four pounds of anything in one sitting in recent history so I’ve got no big stories to tell about him.  A long while ago he had a girlfriend that I really wanted to meet because, you know, it was Dammit Todd’s girlfriend.  I had planned on writing about her, but that meeting never materialized before they broke up in a non-dramatic fashion.  Until lately, he has given me squat with which to work.

You know, I can never rest when my friends are single and they don’t particularly want to be, thus I am always on the lookout for excellent partners for all my nice people.  I get that some of them are happy in their singlehood – they can trust me to not foist unwanted hot men and women on them because I respect boundaries (sort of) – and unless I find the most perfect person for them, the person they just must absolutely meet, I leave them in their joyous state of singleton.  I have had some success playing matchmaker for those who allow me.  One couple is even married and now has a kid.  And Dammit Todd, I’m proud to say, has the loveliest of new girlfriends because I introduced them.  (Yes, I know he did all the work and she was fetching, yet I will take full credit for this relationship because this is MY BLOG.  NOT THEIRS.)

I think Dammit Todd was one who was quite happy in his bachelor-hood, he is a hottie after all, but I don’t always respect boundaries (see above), and when I went to Florida last year to meet a bunch of strangers for some mini golf and some tasty beverages, we got a temp to cover my job for the week. She was eventually hired for a permanent position, and we were thrilled.  I realized right away that she was very pretty, athletic, tall and funny and sweet and all that good stuff but it took me a hot minute to realize that Dammit Todd might like to meet her.  I knew she wanted to meet him, because, you know, it’s Dammit Todd.  One movie night for the three of us (Wolverine!) and while they were talking in the front seat of the car after the movie, I slipped out of the back seat and that was all she wrote.  Happy couple.

Aren't they pretty? Dammit Todd is the one on the left.

Aren’t they pretty?
Dammit Todd is the one on the left.

I told you all that to say that her name is Ashley and if you read any of the comments from my last post, you will realize that she is the winner of my giveaway!  (Uh, Martie?  Perhaps we should decide on a prize.)  She was the first to guess Slim. Oh, for those of you who didn’t follow the post all the way through the comments and are still waiting on pins and needles, desperate to know who my romantic interest is – it’s Slim.  Probably the day he came over and trimmed all my hedges back was the day things changed for me only it took me four long months to see it because while I am excellent at finding lovely people for all my friends, I suck at it for me.

You know, funny story, when I first met Slim, I grilled him specifically on his situation so that I could play matchmaker for him should the opportunity ever present itself.  HAHAHAHAHAHA-HAAAAA!  I’m a moron.

I realize in typing all of this that I’ve really got such a fantastic group of friends.  And I also realize in typing all of this that a large chunk of my friends I met through a job.  When I left my last company, the one that was sold, Daisy asked me, her eyes big and potentially a little extra damp, “You’ll move on, won’t you, and find new work friends and forget about me?”

I was shocked!  That would never happen!  I said rather passionately, “Daisy!  You know I met Pee-tah at work, don’t you?  And Lynnette.  And Dammit Todd.  And Freddie, Felix, Kindle, and Bootsie.  I take my people with me, no matter where I go.  You are no different.”  As if.

I’m pretty proud of my friends.  I’m certainly fortunate in employment and social life.  I mean, I met Katniss at work.  Every time I tell the story of when she fell down face first in the elevator, spilling an entire Coke all over her clean clothes, all of this done in front of a fully functioning security camera, I laugh until my stomach hurts.

I met MJ-Love at work.  She’s a tiny, elegant little thing but she’s scrappy, as evidenced by the time we attended a silent auction fundraiser and she bolted across the room, tossing her wine glass to the side, shoving people out of her path to outbid someone on a signed Beatles album cover, which she won by the way, and presented to her husband much to his delight.

And this girl.  I met this girl at work.  That is cheese dip.  In a bowl.  She is drinking cheese dip from a bowl and she weighs about 98 pounds and I hate her.

image 1

Yes, I’ve moved on to a new job.  I’ve moved on to new work-people and while no one yet has decided to be my bff, one day someone will.  One day someone at my new job will do something so embarrassing and so funny that I will share it with all of you here on my blog and then we will be fast friends for life.  That doesn’t mean I forget about my old friends, though.  I’ll still write all of our humiliating stories for your enjoyment and take you with me everywhere I go. That’s a heartfelt promise.

I’m such a nice person.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Katniss
    Jan 16, 2014 @ 21:40:00

    Oh no you didn’t! I’m going to have to hurt your guts for sharing my humiliation with the world! I would call u a liar but the giant bruise on my forearm from me falling down the steps this week would out me instantly. Love and miss seeing your shiny, attractive face every payday AND I’m incredibly proud to be one if your ex-co-workers who gets to walk through life with you! Xoxo

    Reply

  2. Freddie
    Jan 16, 2014 @ 21:50:15

    I’m so glad that you clarified which one was Dammit Todd in the picture! I was wondering how I would ever tell them apart! Oh, and by the way, I luff you and can’t wait to have lunch with you again!

    Reply

  3. Sherry
    Jan 17, 2014 @ 07:16:38

    Ohhhhh how I love reading your stories, but most of all I miss seeing your smiling go lucky self in our office. You are missed and lived dearly!!! XOXOXO

    Reply

  4. Sherry
    Jan 17, 2014 @ 07:17:16

    Loved whoops auto correct lol

    Reply

  5. dammit todd
    Jan 17, 2014 @ 12:13:25

    The movie was Fast & Furious 6, not Wolverine. Gah, Jimmie…

    Reply

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