A Guest Post, By Woney

14 Sep 2011 1 Comment

by Love, Jimmie in Friends, Guest Post, Imparting Wisdom Tags:

I will be 48 this year.  Forty-eight.  Two less than fifty.  I will officially move from my mid-40s to my late-40s.  In musing over the fact that, with any luck, I’ve only hit about the mid-point of my life, I thought I’d look back at some of the things I’ve learned.  Here’s 48 of them.

  1. Never live to work, only work to live. 
  2. Buy a comfortable mattress.
  3. Travel.
  4. Singing your heart out will always improve your mood.
  5. Step outside of your comfort zone and do something scary.
  6. It’s none of your business what others think of you.
  7. Be nice to the janitor. Your true character shows through in how you treat the “invisible” people.
  8. If you love someone, say it the instant you realize it.
  9. Live alone at least once in your life.
  10. Tell the truth or keep your mouth shut.  Lies take an enormous amount of wasted energy to keep straight.
  11. Now only lasts for one second.  Live in the present.
  12. Sometimes you have to walk away from certain people, even if they are your family.
  13. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be miserable.  Choose happy.
  14. You never look as bad or as good in a bathing suit as you think you do.
  15. Life is painful, but suffering is optional. 
  16. Most people who ask for your opinion don’t really want it.  They simply want you to validate their opinion.
  17. Flossing is overrated.  Really.
  18. Nothing is as easy or as hard as it first seems.
  19. You’re never too old for a coloring book and crayons.
  20. Fear and jealousy are wasted emotions full of negativity.
  21. Sometimes you have to lose your way to find yourself.
  22. Hotel room sleeping is the best kind. 
  23. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
  24. Never exchange what you want most for what you want for the moment.
  25. When you feel good about yourself, you feel good about your world.
  26. Friends-with-benefits are really fun, but it can also be really dangerous.
  27. When you judge others you aren’t defining them, you’re defining you.
  28. Las Vegas is only fun for 2-3 days at a time.
  29. Happiness has two ingredients: Forgiveness and gratitude.
  30. There is a very big difference between hearing and listening.
  31. Nobody wins a war.  Somebody just loses less.
  32. Listen to your heart.  Your heart will never lie to you.
  33. Massages are worth every penny.
  34. So are personal trainers.
  35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  36. Money is a lousy way to keep score.
  37. Take each disappointment and setback and ask yourself, “Will it matter 5 years from now?”
  38. Make peace with your past so it doesn’t screw up your future.
  39. Sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same.
  40. Respect the people who find time for you, but love the people who make time for you.
  41. Ask why until you understand.
  42. Start saving for retirement with your very first job.
  43. Don’t be too eager to find out a secret.  It could change your life forever.
  44. Eating a whole bag of Hershey Kisses will make your stomach ache, but probably not enough to never do it again.
  45. One of the greatest inventions of all time is Google.
  46. No matter how bad it’s been, you should always be able to cite at least three good things about your day.
  47. People will forget what you said and what you did, but they won’t forget how you made them feel.
  48. And in the immortal words of Yoda: Do or do not, there is no try.

Happy Birthday, my forever friend.  Love, Jimmie.

A Birthday Letter to Phranke From Seamus

27 Aug 2011 2 Comments

by Love, Jimmie in Guest Post, Pets

Hai. Person.

Next time you come over, you can pick me up.   

Bring food.  Also peas.

The end.

The Story Of Mini: A Guest Post

12 Aug 2011 Leave a comment

by Love, Jimmie in Guest Post, Pets Tags: ,

I really have so many things to write about and for various reasons they won’t seem to just come along already.  Probably it is laziness and lack of discipline.   

What will come easily is the story of Mini.  That dog is hilarious.  Potential Roomate is on a trip and I promised to take care of Mini like he would in his absence.  That means coming home at lunchtime in order to let her outside as her bladder is about the size of a walnut.  (Turns out walnuts can hold a decent amount of liquid as evidenced by the stain on my carpet left the day I didn’t make it home in time.  Yay.)  It also means snuggling with her at night and sharing my cherries with her.  It means introducing her to the neighbors and letting her burrow under my blankets.  She is a burrowing dog, my gosh. 

After we established some ground rules for staying at Jimmie’s house, I had a chat with Mini and told her about this here blog.  She said that since Murphy and Seamus got to write guest posts, she wanted to write one too.  I let her.  Turns out we share everything in this house.  Food, (both dog and cat), my bed (with both the dog and cats), the bathroom affection in the middle of the night (both dog and cats) and my blog.    Following is Mini’s essay. 

 

Things that Excite Me! by Mini

Girl! She excites me! When she comes home! 

(Editor’s Note:  Mini spends a lot of time being excited when I arrive.  Really, a lot.  She expresses this excitement by running up and down the stairs and occasionally barking at me as she tries to climb my leg.  Then she peals out for the front door and back to me, back to the door, back to me, at least 10 times before I can walk the five steps to the door and get it open to let her outside.)

Oh, licking!  I love that!  I like licking Girl when she talks, right in the mouth!

(Editor’s Note:  Combine the dog kisses right in the mouth with the fur Murphy leaves on my lips when I talk and I know you want to make out with me, right?)

The Hose!  I love the Hose!  I want to destroy it!  I don’t know why!

(Editor’s Note:  Mini also spends a lot of time being excited about the hose and the water that comes out of it as I water my scraggly tomato plant which has given me exactly four oddly shaped tomatoes.  She snaps at the water, getting it up her nose and in her ears which she later hurks up and scares the snot out of me.  She sprints from the spigot to the plant over and over again until I finally turn off the water.  At this point she takes the end of the hose in her mouth and drags it around the yard.  This dog weighs maybe seven pounds.  She cannot jump into my bed because at regulation-size, it is too tall for her.  She does the scrabble, scrabble, scrabble to get enough traction to jump onto the couch.  She struggles with the tiniest of tasks, yet she has defeated the hose.  Oh, Victory, thy taste is sweet.  And wet.)

My squeaky toys!  When Girl comes home! I run up and down the stairs squeaking my toys! 

(Editor’s Note:  Pic below.  That is all.)

Cats! I want them!  All mine!

(Editor’s Note:  Murphy and Mini have come to a truce.  They no longer hiss and lunge and squeal and quiver.  They do occasionally sniff the general area where the other has been and Mini is still a great fan of licking the carpet infused with his fur.  They both have established a spot on my bed; however, those spots couldn’t be any further away from each other.  Seamus regards her with . . . I don’t even want to say indifference because he likes to look at her.  But he doesn’t seem to show any interest in his looking at her.  It’s weird.  Yet I can find him on the floor next to the bed every night just looking at her. Currently, as I edit this, I have all three animals on the bed with me.  Mini is snoring stuffed up under a blanket.  Murphy is wound up on a pillow on my stomach.  And Seamus is lying next to me just being next to Murphy.  He is vigilantly eyeballing me in case I decide to pet him in which case he will bolt under the bed.  But he wants to be next to Murphy so he endures me.)

Car! I want to ride in it!

(Editor’s Note:  I got nothing here.)

 Aack!

  

Surprisingly, Seamus also had more to say.  He is usually the quiet one so naturally I wanted to let him have a go at this again.

Guest Post by Seamus.

Hai. 

I might like dogs.  They have food and I can eat it. 

 The end. 

 

In other completely unrelated miscellaneous odd news, Sammie (Nanny School?  Remember Sammie?) has gotten some sort of ladybug infestation in her dorm room.  This dorm houses about 8 or 9 other females and of all of them, Sammie is the only one with the ladybugs.  Probably there is some perfectly logical explanation for this yet I am stumped as to what that could be.  I should do some Google searching to see why she is the lucky beneficiary of the tiny red bugs, but you read above about laziness and lack of discipline, right?    Anyway, Sammie has scored an interview with Very Important People.  I hope it goes well for her.  I choose to think that the ladybugs will bring her luck.  I hope the position that she wants is the position that she gets and that the Very Important People treat her well and with respect and take her on lots of fancy vacations and give her extra spending money for those vacations and that at least one of those vacations is on the beach.  And one is in Europe so she can have chocolate croissants for breakfast in the streets of Sienna and possibly make out with Italian boys named Luigi who are not gross.  Good luck again, Sammie!  You have worked hard and you will make an excellent nanny.   I’m sending you a mixed tape soon, eighties-style.  You’re welcome!

 

Martie – What I Saw in the South; Alabama Storms

12 May 2011 Leave a comment

by Love, Jimmie in Guest Post

On April 27th, I saw: Water. Thunder. Lightening.  Black clouds.  More water.  School was cancelled due to bad weather.  In my hometown, which is only a few short miles from the Alabama border, we experienced severe thunderstorms and rushing water, like this:

 

Just below us, in North Alabama, and central Alabama, the scene was much more devastating.  Tornadoes ripped through towns, uprooting trees, homes and lives.  Hundreds were killed.  Thousands were without power.  Stores were closed, families were busy trying to find one another.  My heart breaks for those people, and my mind fears this same occurrence here, where I live.  We are so blessed, we are so lucky, we have dodged another bullet.  

 

Hundreds of people from Alabama converged on my town the next day to buy gas, food, ice, and anything they were in need of.  Idiots in my hometown got angry with these people for “taking what’s ours” or “getting in our way”.  You people should be ashamed.  I pray this never happens to any of you, so that when you head down to Alabama for essentials, no one can make you feel as hopeless as you made someone else feel.  First of all, these people were PURCHASING supplies, so yay for the one-day economy boost.  Secondly, are we really that greedy?  I thought we lived in Heaven on Earth, but people don’t sound very saintly when they sit around gripping tightly to everything they can grab screaming “MINE, MINE!”  Please open up your hearts and minds, and put yourself in their shoes.  I, for one, am thankful that we had what they needed, and sad to think of those who didn’t have a way to get here, nor a home to store their food and water in.  God help them.

Thanks to all of my good neighbors and friends who were quick to lend a buck, a helping hand, or anything else you could scrape together.   Thanks to our power department for sending groups of  people down to help restore power to the ones without it.  Thanks to all who are reading this and deciding to do something to help as you read.  And to those of you who are struggling through this, we are still here if you need us.  Come on back to Tennessee, and buy anything you need.  If someone gives you grief, I’m sorry. 

And I’m not forgetting the 30-something people who died here in my own state, along with those of you who lost your home or a loved one right here in Tennessee.  God Bless you.

Soapbox gone.  Have a great day.

Jimmie here.  There are lots of great organizations that you can donate through and these people still need your help.  I’ll list a few.  Please understand that I am not choosing one over another and can make no statements about these organizations.  I just did a quick Google search and found these.  You can do the same. 

Salvation Army

Help the Children

Samaritan’s Purse

American Red Cross

Photo credits: Water found here.  Damage found here, photography by Scott Fillmer.  He has other photos as well.  Check out his site.

Administrative Happenings and a Guest Post!

05 May 2011 5 Comments

by Love, Jimmie in Guest Post Tags:

Aw, suki now!  I got a taker!  I sent out a request for guest posts and Martie has obliged me. 

I’ll give you just a smidge of a back story for this. Martie and I grew up in a small town where it was assumed that because we lived there, we drove tractors to school instead of trucks and cars.  And Thanksgiving Day was not just a day for eating until vital organs burst but more a day to get up at 4:30 am to hunt and hopefully kill a deer.  For us, this town was the true South, the South we knew.  Still is.  And because Martie still lives in that neck of the woods, she gets to witness it all first hand.  I have a feeling that many of you will relate to her musings and because of that, her posts will be a recurring thing.  You and I will occasionally get treated to the things she gets to see every day. 

So, here we go! Whee!

Martie here.  I’m gonna do a little series, hope you like it.  I see way too many “interesting” things here in the South, and I feel like the rest of the world should experience the South in all its glory through the eyes of someone who loves it, and maybe understands it a little too well.

This is an ad that was on my local radio station’s website.  It is real.  It’s a want ad.  It is real.  Really, it is real.

live in babysitter

April 20, 2011

i need a live in babysitter that takes no drugs if they drink preferred after my 4 yr old and 11 week old are asleep.  i need someone responsible and is willing to put my kids first in their life. preferred woman, responsible, preferred with references, and has to love kids, pit bulls, cats, and snakes.  AND MUST BE TRUSTWORTHY AND OH DID I SAY RESPONSIBLE

included:

free rent free food free cable and internet if u smoke I got ur cigs and ill throw in some money here and there when I can afford it.  im a cool chick and I really need some help plese call me at ***-***-**** ask for *** need someone quick but im not stupid.  i am willing to work with any stipulations please feel free to call and ask questions, i live in ******* if u go to ****** ********* college so if theres a college student needin a roof I need a sitter please call me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it is real.  Yes it is.   

And so ends Martie’s post. Tune in next time for another exciting chapter of “You Won’t Believe the Crazy Sh!t I Saw Today! Or, Life in the South.”

Please, none of you need to apply for the above position.  I thought it prudent that I state that here . . .

Also, if you have any awareness at all, you’ll notice that things look a little different around here.  WordPress (the place that hosts this here blog) has different themes and I chose Rounded because it was pretty and girlie.  But Rounded and I got into an argument about spacing and I lost.  So like any mature adult, I flounced off in a huff and went behind Rounded’s back and chose another, prettier theme.  Now we are Koi. Doesn’t that sound nice?  But I ask your pardon as I learn the tricks on this new theme.  Spacing might be wonky for a minute but I’ll work it out.  I always do. 

 

 

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