I really have so many things to write about and for various reasons they won’t seem to just come along already. Probably it is laziness and lack of discipline.
What will come easily is the story of Mini. That dog is hilarious. Potential Roomate is on a trip and I promised to take care of Mini like he would in his absence. That means coming home at lunchtime in order to let her outside as her bladder is about the size of a walnut. (Turns out walnuts can hold a decent amount of liquid as evidenced by the stain on my carpet left the day I didn’t make it home in time. Yay.) It also means snuggling with her at night and sharing my cherries with her. It means introducing her to the neighbors and letting her burrow under my blankets. She is a burrowing dog, my gosh.
After we established some ground rules for staying at Jimmie’s house, I had a chat with Mini and told her about this here blog. She said that since Murphy and Seamus got to write guest posts, she wanted to write one too. I let her. Turns out we share everything in this house. Food, (both dog and cat), my bed (with both the dog and cats), the bathroom affection in the middle of the night (both dog and cats) and my blog. Following is Mini’s essay.
Things that Excite Me! by Mini
Girl! She excites me! When she comes home!
(Editor’s Note: Mini spends a lot of time being excited when I arrive. Really, a lot. She expresses this excitement by running up and down the stairs and occasionally barking at me as she tries to climb my leg. Then she peals out for the front door and back to me, back to the door, back to me, at least 10 times before I can walk the five steps to the door and get it open to let her outside.)
Oh, licking! I love that! I like licking Girl when she talks, right in the mouth!
(Editor’s Note: Combine the dog kisses right in the mouth with the fur Murphy leaves on my lips when I talk and I know you want to make out with me, right?)
The Hose! I love the Hose! I want to destroy it! I don’t know why!
(Editor’s Note: Mini also spends a lot of time being excited about the hose and the water that comes out of it as I water my scraggly tomato plant which has given me exactly four oddly shaped tomatoes. She snaps at the water, getting it up her nose and in her ears which she later hurks up and scares the snot out of me. She sprints from the spigot to the plant over and over again until I finally turn off the water. At this point she takes the end of the hose in her mouth and drags it around the yard. This dog weighs maybe seven pounds. She cannot jump into my bed because at regulation-size, it is too tall for her. She does the scrabble, scrabble, scrabble to get enough traction to jump onto the couch. She struggles with the tiniest of tasks, yet she has defeated the hose. Oh, Victory, thy taste is sweet. And wet.)
My squeaky toys! When Girl comes home! I run up and down the stairs squeaking my toys!
(Editor’s Note: Pic below. That is all.)
Cats! I want them! All mine!
(Editor’s Note: Murphy and Mini have come to a truce. They no longer hiss and lunge and squeal and quiver. They do occasionally sniff the general area where the other has been and Mini is still a great fan of licking the carpet infused with his fur. They both have established a spot on my bed; however, those spots couldn’t be any further away from each other. Seamus regards her with . . . I don’t even want to say indifference because he likes to look at her. But he doesn’t seem to show any interest in his looking at her. It’s weird. Yet I can find him on the floor next to the bed every night just looking at her. Currently, as I edit this, I have all three animals on the bed with me. Mini is snoring stuffed up under a blanket. Murphy is wound up on a pillow on my stomach. And Seamus is lying next to me just being next to Murphy. He is vigilantly eyeballing me in case I decide to pet him in which case he will bolt under the bed. But he wants to be next to Murphy so he endures me.)
Car! I want to ride in it!
(Editor’s Note: I got nothing here.)
Aack!
Surprisingly, Seamus also had more to say. He is usually the quiet one so naturally I wanted to let him have a go at this again.
Guest Post by Seamus.
Hai.
I might like dogs. They have food and I can eat it.
The end.
In other completely unrelated miscellaneous odd news, Sammie (Nanny School? Remember Sammie?) has gotten some sort of ladybug infestation in her dorm room. This dorm houses about 8 or 9 other females and of all of them, Sammie is the only one with the ladybugs. Probably there is some perfectly logical explanation for this yet I am stumped as to what that could be. I should do some Google searching to see why she is the lucky beneficiary of the tiny red bugs, but you read above about laziness and lack of discipline, right? Anyway, Sammie has scored an interview with Very Important People. I hope it goes well for her. I choose to think that the ladybugs will bring her luck. I hope the position that she wants is the position that she gets and that the Very Important People treat her well and with respect and take her on lots of fancy vacations and give her extra spending money for those vacations and that at least one of those vacations is on the beach. And one is in Europe so she can have chocolate croissants for breakfast in the streets of Sienna and possibly make out with Italian boys named Luigi who are not gross. Good luck again, Sammie! You have worked hard and you will make an excellent nanny. I’m sending you a mixed tape soon, eighties-style. You’re welcome!
Love, Jimmie 